The weight of thoughts

Dear Lord,

These days I keep moving between happy and sad.. I always tot that I have gotten over my past, yet whenever things doesnt go my way in work, I have a tendency to start thinking about the past, start thinking about PX and the things that happened between the 2 of us..

I tried to remember only the happy memories and the fun that we used to have, but they seemed to get overwhelmed by the fact that it had a bad ending to that relationship..

I finally know where she is working.. But so what if I know? Nothing will change of its current status quo.. It is not as thou' she will suddenly change her attitude towards me if I go to that hospital to find her.. So what Your point of letting me find out where she is working?

Lord, sometimes my prayers are answered, sometimes they are not.. When I prayed for salvation, Cyn's were answered, another long time friend of mine is also half answered.. How about PX's? Will You save her before that dream of hers about her 21st came true?

Lord, please do Your best to help her? If she is not mine to help, then do send someone to Save her and bring her to You..

And Lord, will You not only grant her salvation, but also help me to salvage this relationship with her?

I am really sorry of asking this sort of question, cos it is more of my desire than Yours.. And I hadnt been fulfilling Your desires due to my fallen nature.. I am real sorry..

These days I couldnt even find the motivation to even go to church.. I dunno which church to go to anymore.. CCBC? LKBC? ARPC?

The last time when I will still attending ARPC was due to XY.. Now that she is happily settled in another church, I no longer have any motivation to go church.. I want to go back to CCBC, but couldnt let go.. I want to stay at LKBC for the time being, but I will always treat myself as a visitor over there.. ARPC is a church too big for me to find any love or friendship..

I am lost.. I am really lost.. Everyday is a day wasted for now.. I am using my hectic work schedule to stop myself from feeling the pain.. Yet time and time again, I am attacked by those memories..

Lord, I really need your help..

I have lost more than 1 year of my life gettng lost in the worldly place, not growing in you..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life learning how to forgive others, yet not being able to forgive myself..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life searching for you, yet cant find you, cos you are always supporting me from behind and I have never turn my head to find you..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life searching for love, but failed to realised that the greatest love had always been given to me, by You..


But so what if i really realised these things now? I am still unable to get myself out of this slump..

Can You, Lord, reach out Your hands to let me hold on to? To let me grab hold? To give me the warmth and love that I so badly needed?

Lord..
Your servant is crying for help here.....

All these I sincerely ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen.

Guess it is goodbye for good

Dear Lord,

Is that phone call with PeiXia a sign from You to get me to move on in life?

I guess it is goodbye for good this time.. All the hopes of repairing the friendship, repairing the relationship is finally proven to be nothing but just dreams that will never come true.. All the prayers went unanswered, all the dream bubbles went blasting into nothing, all the wonderful memories shall stay as memories, never to be brought forward to the future..

Perhaps it is time to wake up, wake up from this dream, this dream that will never be turned into reality..

For the last couple of weeks, I had been going through many emotional roller-coaster.. To the extend that I feel extremely tired and want to give up on everything.. I used to think that my long hours in my work can help to suppress all my feelings and emotions, only to realised that suppressed feelings are just a potential ticking timebomb awaiting to explode..

So many things had gone past my life for the past 1 plus year.. To be more exact, after my baptism.. So many negativities surrounded me and the past year had proved to be extremely detrimental to my Christianity life..

Little did I realised that I can backslide to the extend that I am in now.. This blog is really something.. Right from day 1, where my spiritual health is at one of the highest peck, I claim that this blog will track my ups and downs in my spiritual well-being.. Now, I am really at lowest time since I accepted You, my Lord, into my life..


Forgiving, that is what Ps Mike had told me to do.. Forgive Others, Forgive yourself, and Ask for Forgiveness.


Even Lilly, who is not a Christian, told me that faith should come first so that I can get out of this slump..
Celeste, a mere 15 year old young girl, also told me to stay close to my Lord so as to overcome all my problems..

All these people are non-christians, yet all of them stood by me at this period of time..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them told me to stay close to my faith..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them knew better that you Lord, will get me through this period of time..


I thank you, Lord, for giving me angels after angels whenever I am in problematic situations..

In the past when I broke up with Don, you sent me David and Lilly to help me thru'.
Now, going thru a much rockier period, you sent me Celeste and Lilly to help me try to get out..

I really thankyou Lord.

While I may go back to my emotional status from time to time, at least I know I can seek comfort in you..

Lord,
this time round, may I be selfish and pray only for myself? Cos given my current status, chances are my prayers wont be heard.. So all I asked for is juz for myself, for the time being, until I am able to rekindler our relationship once more, Lord..


My prayers for myself would be that:

Lord, can You bring me back closer to you once again. My faith had been on a free fall for the past one year. Enough is enough. I wish to get back my faith in track. This slump in faith was much much worse than I had ever imagine. Lord, please give me the strength to overcome all obstacles that I may face, and let me move on from here.

Lord, also, please show me how to forgive others, and more importantly, how to forgive myself.. Everytime I have someone to forgive, I find it easier to forgive that person than myself. I always feel that I am at fault in everything. Lord give me strength, courage and wisdom to forgive others, forgive myself, as well as to seek forgivness from you.. I dare not seek forgivness from you yet, cos I feel that I would be extremely insincere given the fact that I still could forgive so many people, so many things and so many events.. Lord, I am sorry..

Lord, last but not least in this blog entry, please guide me through all these obstacles, continue to lead me towards you, continue to lead me to run towards that finishing line, so that I will be able to get my rewards from you, my reward of eternity with you..


Thanks Lord,

All these I sincerely asked in Jesus most preious name,
Amen!

Confused state of mind

Dear Lord,

Haiz.. These few days I had been extremely confused.. The past and the present are all mixing themselves up and trumbling upon me..

I felt suffocated..

I dunno whats wrong with me anymore.. Or perhaps I know, just that I couldnt find a way out.. I am losing sight of you Lord. I am losing that grip upon you.. Haiz.. I need help, Lord..

What should I do?

New Day, New Morning

Dear Lord,

Good morning~! Haha..

Have been so tired out these days, everyday after work.. To think that I am almost working 7 days a week is still unbelievable for me.. Last Sunday even thou I am not suppose to work, I still spend almost half my day with my pals at work.. Am I hardworking or what?

These few days I have been floating between my past, my present and my future.. Still need some time to sort things out, if I am able to that is.. Perhaps with my humanly ability I wont be able to, but with Lord, your help, I am sure I will emerge as a very much stronger person..

All I need now is time, and support..


Prayer List:

For XiaoYen,
She hasnt been feeling too well these couple of days. Has been sneezing and coughing.. Lord, please grant her with a pink of health so that she will be able to recover. Lord, please take good care of her.

For myself,
Lord, I haven been the best child You have these days. Finally realised what Mike had always said, that once I am working, I will know how much harder it is to stay close with the Lord. So dear Lord, do pull me close and rekinder our relationship. I love you, Lord. =)

And Lord, please grant me some time alone with you. These days I find it so hard to actually seek for the empty slots in my schedule to be able to find a nice quiet spot to pray to you..



All these I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Singapore Flyer Day

Dear Lord,

Thanks for giving me such a wonderful day.. Really enjoy the day, be it in church, the outing and the Singapore Flyer.. It was the first time I took the Singapore Flyer.. :D

The scenery at the Flyer was beautiful, everything about the day was beautiful.. It been a long time since I last had such a wonderful outing with a friend.. Perhaps the only downside of the day would be a lack of photos, then again, what more can I ask for?

Really thankyou Lord,


Prayer List:

For PeiXia,
It has been a long long time since I last contacted her, and I had lost touch with her already.. Lord, may you continue to protect her from all harms, and that I will be able to gather the courage to give her a call, be it for her, for myself or for anything else.. Lord, may You grant me to wisdom to close this chapter and move on..

For Aileen,
That she will be able to promote to BM within the next 2 months.. She had been stuck in the company for a long time and she is rather tired already.. If she dont move up, she will be moving out.. So Lord, please help her as thou you are helping your child..

For XiaoYen,
That she will be able to settle down in a church soon.. And that she will not be so tired out due to her job.. Her job seems so draining that she feels so drained after work.. Lord, pls grant her strength and health to continue in her job, and pls help her brother to be able to get a job in Singapore soon..

For myself,
Lord, over the past 2 months or so, I had grown up alot in Redwoods.. Lord, may you continue to look over me so that I will be able to progress fast in the company as well as to help Aileen to promote.. Lord, may you continue to protect my feet so that they will be able to last my journey in Redwoods.. Lord, may you grant me the wisdom and the discipline to be able to pray to you and constantly seeking for you..


All these I ask and thankyou in Jesus Name,
Amen

Sick and Scared..

Dear Lord,

I just took another day of off from work.. Still not in the best of condition to work, be it physically or mentally.. My throat is still hurting and my body is still relatively weak from the fever that I have had a couple of days back..

Then again, that only explains the physically part of my condition.. I am currently overwhelmed with thinking of my long term future in the company..

As I saw the doctor yesterday, I brought up the issue about the numbness I felt on my leg toe.. Initially I was so scared that it could be diabetes, but as it found out, there is nothing to do with diabetes, especially since I dun have the illness.. Instead, I got another terrible blow from the doctor..

He told me that the numbness came from the fact that I have been standing too long in a shoe that is totally not comfortable enough for my legs.. As such, the nerves around the toes area had been suffocated and were being badly damaged, since I didnt not "listen to my body" when the numbness was first felt.. While there is a chance of recovery, it will take lots of months for the nerves to return to it's orginal state.. However, if the nerves are too badly damaged, I may have to live with this "50% feeling" leg..

Suddenly, I realised that being a workaholic doesnt seems to bring you anywhere in terms of health.. In order to climb up the career progression chart of the company fast, I choose to turn a deaf ear to my body's complain, in the end, I have to suffer the consequences of it..

To think that just before starting work I was still reading "Where is God when it Hurts" by Philip Yancey.. To think that I was still pitying people who didnt not listen to their body when they had a chance.. Little did I expect it to happen on myself..

Haiz.. Lord, I am scared..

While I know that this 50% feeling of my left leg will not affect any of my current physical being or will it provide any hinderance to any of my activities, I still dun like the fact that I am not a 100% fully fit and healthy person..

What is the message You are trying to bring across here, Lord? Is this a lesson You want me to learn? Or am I thinking too much?

Either way, I still want to praise You for letting me learn and understand Philip Yancey's book, not only at a head knowledge level, but to actually live it to understand at a personal level.. This way, I will be able to relate and connect with the people whom I will be counselling in the future..

Thankyou Lord.


Up next is my Prayer List, Dear Lord.

For XiaoYen,
Lord, she seems so busy these days. While she does enjoy what she is working now, do protect her and shield her from any harm. Give her a pink of health so that she will be able to go thru' the hectic schedule unscattered..

For myself,
Lord, may you grant me health so that my body will be able to recover fully.

Thankyou Lord.

All this I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Life @ Work/Church

Dear Lord,

Here I am again.. It been quite long since I last posted on this blog.. It has also been quite long since I really sit down and pray and chat with you.. My life has been extremely busy and too tired at times.. Work is really draining me.. For a type 6 to do a job meant for a type 3, I am extremely stressed up from time to time.. I still have yet to find the peace that I require in order to grow as a type 6..

Oh Lord, and I have just move back to LKBC again.. :D

Just went over to LKBC with XY on Sunday, which is yesterday. She prefers LKBC that ARPC. To me, it doesnt really makes much of a difference to me, since all along that is only 2 churches which I have in mind to stay for long term, ARPC and LKBC..

While I am still not too close with most of LKBC's people, at least I know most of the youths over there, if not all.. So in other words, I should be able to settle both XY and myself down there faster.

Lord, please help us to stay close to you while we continue to pursue Your words and wisdom.. The followings are some of my prayers for my dear friends and myself..



For LKBC,
Lord, I pray that you will be able to grant wisdom to Pastor Jimmy as he comes back from Sabatical leave next week, so that he will be able to impart his knowledge about you to the entire congregation without mistakes or misleadings..

For CCBC and CCBC youths,
Lord, while I may no longer be a regular in CCBC, I still do hope that the church will be able to stand strong and not fall apart. May you grant them the wisdom to know what is good for them and how to grow as a church, both in terms of numbers of people attending the service, as well as in terms of spiritual growth.

For Ps. Mike,
Lord, may you give him the strength and knowledge to impart to the people who are learning from him. Give him the discipline to learn more about You, to pray to You, and to transfer these knowledge to the people under his wings.

For PeiXia,
While she seem to have disappeared from my life, I still wish her well for everything that she partake.. Lord, may You send someone in Your name to help her to open her heart to accept you into her life.. May you show her that in this life that we are living, there is no other love greater than the love You have showered upon us.

For XiaoYen,
Lord, may you help her in everything she do. Do grant her health so that her current food intake may not harm her, but bless it to the use of her body. Lord, may you grant her the wisdom to grow in You and that she will find peace and joy wherever she goes. May you spread your wings of assurance and grace upon her that she will be able to settle down in a church and a cell gropu soon.

Last but not least,

For myself,
Lord, give me strength to be able to take the energy draining job. Grant me peace so that I will be able to do my job with peace in my mind and You in my heart, and so that I will no long stay stagnant and be able to move on in life. Grant me wisdom so that while I am doing with job, I will not forget to show others that You are Lord thru' my actions. Grant me discipline, so that I will always remember to pray to you, and to continue in my repairing of my relationship with You, Lord.



Thankyou for listening to my prayers, Dear Lord,

All these I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Moving out of the darkness

Dear Lord,

Day by day, I know that you had been with me, even at my down-est time, you will be there for me.. Sometimes I may feel that you are not there, but whenever I looked back in my troubled times, I realised that I will always have the strength to move on, and the strength comes from none other than You..

Forgive, is one of the hardest thing to ever do.. With our strength alone, we will not be able to do it, but with You, I know that you will give me the strength.. Yet Lord, there are still some things that I couldnt let go, that I couldnt forgive..

Pride, one of the deadliest sin, the sin which causes Lucifer to fall from heavens.. Yet I am not one who likes to be looked down upon, as such, people who look down on me are never forgiven by me.. Lord, what should I do? In my heart I know that I should forgive, but I just cant.. On top of that, there are so many things in my life that I still cant forgive totally.. The events may have passed, but they truly existed before! I may not be angry anymore, but the events that happened then was still vivid in my memory.. Lord, please show me the way..

And Lord, after going to Botanic Gardens, trying to repair our relationship, I think I had moved back to You once again, while it may not be as close still, but at least I saw the improvement in myself..

Lord, on top of that, thanks for leading me to watch Stained Glass Masquerade, presented by the Believers. It was really an insightful musical concert.. Really gain alot of insights to Christianity life and the mask that we should not be wearing..

And Lord, last but not least, the followings are some of my prayers for my dear friends..



For Kristin,
Lord I pray that you will help her in any way possible.. That she will walk a life close to you and that you will lead her to a good future, a wonderful future with only sweet dreams and no nightmares..

For Celeste,
Lord I pray that you will give her the strength to study hard and score well in all her exams.. Lord, please reduce her stress and give her strength to move out of the emotional circle that she subconciously set up for herself to protect her pride.. Let her have a shoulder to lean on when needed, a shoulder to cry on when sad, a person to chat when down, and a group of close friends to share her joy with.

For PeiXia,
Lord, while I have not been in touch with her life for the past couple of months, may I pray that you will grant her the ability to overcome all grieves and sadness if there is any in her life.. Her big eyes are meant to glow and spread joy to the world, there should not be any room for tears.. Over time I had come to realisation that I may not be the person who will bring her to know you and to accept you, but still, Lord, please send someone down to soften her heart so that she will allow you into her life..

For CCBC Youths,
Lord I pray that they will grow in you.. Let this batch of CCBC's future be strong enough to hold up the church.. Let them not fall during times of trials, but let them grow stronger and emerge as spiritually strong christians who will do your word and make disciples.

For PS Mike,
Lord I pray that you will grant him spiritual discipline and wisdom, so that he will be able to impart his knowledge to the younger ones.

For XiaoYen,
Lord I pray that you will stay close to her and grant her mercy and wisdom.. She came to Singapore all alone to work, may you be with her and protect her, shield her from lonliness and give her strength to pass each day with happiness and joy..

Lord, last but not least, may you grant me wisdom to move on with my life.. For the past couple of months, my life had come to a standstill.. Too many things had happened that I am immoblised.. Lord, if it is your will, let me succeed in the things that I had in mind, so that I will be able to provide for the girl that is to come into my life according to your will.. May you prepare me so that when this girl cross path with me, I will be ready to let her enter into my life, that I will be spiritually ready to bring me and her to a whole new level in our spiritual life..


Thanks Lord for listening to your servant's prayers.

All these I sincerely ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Dear Lord,

I realised something today, the following entry will be on what I have discovered today..



If you think prayers are as easy as just talking and chatting with God about your life, try praying for someone whom you want to curse even more.. Try praying for the well being of that person and that he or she may be blessed by God in any possible ways..

Hard isnt it?

Honestly, who in the right frame of mind will actually want to pray for someone whom you hate so much? I doubt even the holiest of holiest person will be able to do that without the slightest frown or the slightest feeling of being forced to..

I, for one, is no different from all the fallen people out there, who finds it extremely hard to do that.. Sometimes, I cant help but find that the Bible is such a difficult text to comply with.. But as it is written in Matthew from 5:43 to 5:48

Mat 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy'
Mat 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Mat 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Mat 5:46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collecters doing that?
Mat 5:47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Mat 5:48 be perfect, therefore, as you heavenly Father is perfect.

Haiz.. Honestly, I seriously want to just curse the guy whom so-to-speak have stolen her from me.. Yet somewhere deep inside me tells me that I should be praying for their relationship and pray that he will take good care fo her.. On top of that, I have to pray that if I am not the one who will bring her to Christ, let him be the one to harvest the seed which I had sowed.

Sometimes I cant help but wonder if God loves me so much, why would He give me some an "impossible" and "inhumane" task? I am the one being hurt here and yet I have to pray for the one who cause me this pain?

This spiritual path with God is really a tough one.. While I believe that I will grow to become a stronger person, a stronger Christian in the process, I can help but feel that the cross I am carrying with me now is so heavy and so painful..

Haiz..

Neverthelesss, God, if that is what you want from me, that will be what I will give to you.. While I still cant help but feel the pain and all, I will still do my best to do what is righteous in your eyes and the task that you have entrusted me with..

Lord.. Give me strength..


In Jesus most precious name I pray,
Amen

Pain

Lord,


This is more painful than I ever thought, that I would ever imagine.. The torment that you are sending me thru at this moment is nearing unbearable state!

Lord Lord, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving, from helping me? I cried out to you by the day but you did not answer me, i tear out by the night but you kept silent..

Why is it that the punishable get away scot free, yet your child here is forced to go thru such sufferings? Why is it that the pure in love is not loved, but the cheat in love wins all hearts?

Lord, why so?

For weeks I had used my tears to wash my face;
For weeks I had forcefully swallow this pain that I can go on without food for many hours;
For weeks I had sleep late and wake up much earlier than my alarm, suffering from insomia;
For weeks I had been dreaming of her on daily basis, sweet dreams as well as nightmares..

Lord, I really do not know how to let go, for I am weak. In you I need to draw my strength from. But where are you, Lord? Please do not hide your face from me anymore.

Show me your face,
Give me a sign,
Guide me thru this period of suffering and hardship,
Bring me thru this dark dark tunnel,
Lead me out of this place,
Carry me thru this time of torments!

Blows after Blows..

Lord,

Why is it that just that I thought I am able to stand up and walk beside you again, you just send me another blow? How many such blows can I take? How far you want me to fall before saving me?

Why do you seems like enjoying yourself to see me tear everytime? So much so that this time round, I cant even tear anymore?

2 years ago, I was so happy cos I finally got my driving license on 23 Jan 2008.. In less than 2 months, you sent my entire world crashing down on me by taking away the most important person out of my life, by taking her away from me. With her, all my confidence, my strength, my life and energy were all sucked out of me...

That amount of tears that you enjoy lasted for almost 6 months daily, with interval attacks after that.. Are you really enjoying it? Or are you crying with me?


I thought everything would come to an end with that torturous period of time.. Little did I know that the learning of how to cry is only the start....


As I got myself baptised, I thought I had obeyed what you have commanded and I will walk closer with you.. Yet from there, waves of attacks just started pouring in.. From Church Retreat to the failure of evangelism and keeping hold to the people I tried to evangelise; From the death of my grandfather to the accusation during the Mission Trip; From the rejection to the feeling of being make use of and being cheated..


Lord, how much of these attacks you want me to endure? Are you really there when I needed you? While the Bible says we are worth more than many sparrows, does that person includes me? Why do I feel that you hate me so much? Why is it that after letting me know that you will not forsake me, I feel so forsaken again?

Mike once said that my salvation is under threat this time round.. So he asked me to get closer to you and to cling on tighter to you, which is the reason why I am going to the Botanic Gardens weekly to try to get closer to you.. Yet why is it that you keep pushing me away? WHY?!

Lord, I really dunno what I am praying for now? I really dunno what am I doing anymore.. I really dunno what is my direction, my goal, and my future anymore..

Everyone say that you will guide me.. Will you? Are you willing? Do you even exist?

Trip 2 to Botantic Gardens

Dear Lord,

Somehow it really seems as thou I need to be alone before I can hear Your words.. I seemed to be closest to You when I take a slow and peaceful walk, alone with You..

From time to time, I always felt as thou You had forsaken me.. From the breaking up with Donna to the rejection that I had received recently, I kept asking where is the Lord whom I thought I knew, who promised to give what my heart desires.. Even up to yesterday I am still asking Mike why do I feel as thou You had forsaken me when I most needed you?

Today as I took a walk down Botantical Gardens, I took 2 pieces of bread with me.. Went to the small bridge and fed the turtles and swans with 1 pieces, and slowly make my way to the shed where I sat last week..

The sparrows are still there, but the difference today is that there are much more fishes.. Was intending to pick up my bible to read before changing my mind to feed the sparrows.. As I was feeding the sparrows, suddenly I recalled this verse in the Bible..

Luke 12:6 - 7
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.


Even the sparrows are not forgotten by God, how would God forsake me then, since I am worth so much more than the sparrows. Even without me feeding the sparrows, they still survive, and there are still other visitors who feed them, which proves that God still care for them despite how small they are, so what's more a child of God?

Lord, thankyou for this revelation that You gave me while I am feeding the sparrows. I know that this is from You, to tell me that no matter how back-slided and how worthy I am, You will never forsake me; that You will always be by my side walking with me thru'out this journey..

It is not that You are not beside me and supporting me, it is just that I am too blind too problematic to be able to see You..

Just like on the beach, during the peaceful times of my life, we will be able to see 2 sets of footsteps, one belonging to you and one belonging to me; during the down times of my life, there will always be only 1 set of footsteps.. That is not because You have left me, but that You were carrying me during this period..

Thank You Lord once again..

All this I give thanks in Jesus most precious name,
Amen.

Going to Botantical Gardens

Dear Lord,

Once again, I will be going to Botantical Gardens in about 1 hour time.. Last week when I went there, while I am in tears and down, You made me realised that it is time to let go of the burden I had always imposed on myself and want me to forgive myself..

While forgiveness is such an easy word, it seems the hardest thing to do.. But if I cant even forgive myself, it would be hard for me to move on also isnt it?

Lord, this trip to the Botantical Gardens will once again be a trip for You, to seek for You, to repair my relationship with You..

Lord, it has been very hard on me this 2 months.. Had a very close friendship ruined and being taken for granted for.. Lord, it hurts so badly inside.. Cos I really treasure this friendship.. But before I can repair this friendship, I guess I have to repair the loveship between You and me first..

As Mike always tell me, if I want to court other girls, I sld try courting You first.. Perhaps he is right.. Lord, will you really provide me with my heart's desire? Lord, do talk to me as I seek for You later in the gardens.. I really need Your guidance..

Lord,

• Grant me peace to get over this extreme pain and heartbreak.
• Grant me strength to overcome the obstacles that are facing my way
• Grant me wisdom to speak of Your name with trembling and fear, yet proudly proclaiming that You are Lord.
• Grant me perservance to contine walking this path with You and stay close to You and Your words..
• Grant me protection, that no harm shall come to me and my loved ones..
• Grant me opportunites, that I will be able to fulfil your Great Commandment..

Lord, forgive my sins, as I walked this paths alongside you. Bring me as near to you as possible, so that I can understand what is Your will for me..

In You I will find peace, in You I will find love, in You I will find my heart's desire.

All this I pray in Jesus most preciously name,
Amen