Pain

Lord,


This is more painful than I ever thought, that I would ever imagine.. The torment that you are sending me thru at this moment is nearing unbearable state!

Lord Lord, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving, from helping me? I cried out to you by the day but you did not answer me, i tear out by the night but you kept silent..

Why is it that the punishable get away scot free, yet your child here is forced to go thru such sufferings? Why is it that the pure in love is not loved, but the cheat in love wins all hearts?

Lord, why so?

For weeks I had used my tears to wash my face;
For weeks I had forcefully swallow this pain that I can go on without food for many hours;
For weeks I had sleep late and wake up much earlier than my alarm, suffering from insomia;
For weeks I had been dreaming of her on daily basis, sweet dreams as well as nightmares..

Lord, I really do not know how to let go, for I am weak. In you I need to draw my strength from. But where are you, Lord? Please do not hide your face from me anymore.

Show me your face,
Give me a sign,
Guide me thru this period of suffering and hardship,
Bring me thru this dark dark tunnel,
Lead me out of this place,
Carry me thru this time of torments!