Rejected yet once again

Lord,

I dun understand whats the plan that you have for me.. I really dun..

What's your plan for me? What's the life you want me to lead? Can you be more straight forward and tell me? Cant you juz appear in front of me and guide me thru?

Lord, I just got rejected again. Honestly, what else can I do? Somehow the closest example I can deduce from this is something like what King Saul had been thru.. Asking for a King when a King was never intended to be given..

My spiritual health is dying.. Really dying..

I have never been so demoralised about my spiritual health.. But this time, I am scared of it and seriously cant see the light in the tunnel..

I haven been praying for a long long time.. Haven been reading or even bringing my bible for a long long time..

I really dunno what's wrong with me..

Haiz..


In Jesus name I pray for wisdom and love,
Amen

Ungrateful..

Lord,

Please enlighten me why am I taking this path again..
I really dun understand..
I always feel that you have sent me to take care of people, to be sensitive to people, and to bring them to Christ..

Lord, I have done my best to help her and to protect her with whatever I have.. All she knows is that her guy friend saw ghost after praying for her, her girl friend had nightmare after praying for her.. Not wanting to add to her burden, i kept my grandfather's sudden deterioration from her..

Now, she suddenly became such an ungrateful brat.. Lord.. I dun want to say this, but I just feel so hurt.. All along I had been doing my best to protect and to bring her closer to you.. Yet out of the blue she just hated me like crazy.. And to the extend that she dun even bother to ask about my grandfather..

Lord, what kind of human being had you created here?

My grandfather used to be such a strong person and can joke and laugh and play mahjiong with us.. Yet ever since we started praying for her to help her to cast out the evil beings from her, his health went down the hill in an extremely steep slope..

His memory failing, he could no longer play mahjiong nor recognise numbers.. His right side of the body started to deteriorate to the extend that he cannot walk properly.. Few days ago the doctor said he contracted 4th stage cancer and the cancer is spreading fast.. Now he is being transfered to the hospice and Doctor says that he is not expecting anything more than 2 months..

And YET~! She did not even bother to ask or anything.. To think that I had always tot that she is a kind hearted person, and always wonder why would people hate her..

Lord, whats the meaning of this? I juz dun understand.. Here I am trying in vain to help her, and yet only to realised how ungrateful she is and how blind she is not to be able to know the right from wrong, the good from bad..

Lord.. I seriously dunno what else can I do.. To help someone so much, only to feel so betrayed..

Lord.. Do tell me what to do..

Thanks Lord.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

I cried for the first time, for You

Dear Lord,

I finally understood this particular real life story.. Let me summaried the story..

"There was a Pastor, and an Anti-Christ person who was invited to American's national radio to do an interview.. The broadcaster interviewed the Anti-Christianity person.. As expected, he started smearing the name of Jesus and questioning about his pressence and his words, stating that Christianity is all but a fraud..
When the broadcaster turned to the Pastor to ask him what he has to say to defend Christianity, the Pastor did not say anything. Instead, he broke down into tears, crying painfully, saying,"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do".. And he continued crying..
The broadcaster turned back to his mic, saying, "Dear all, this is the best testimony I had ever seen in my entire life."

The broadcaster and the Anti-Christ person converted soon after.."


When I first heard the story, Lord, I must confess that I find that pastor an idiot.. Why would anyone cried.. It is not his fault anyway..

Little did I realised that everything is under your plan that I will experience something likewise.. I actually tear for her.. While she doesnt know, and there is no intention and no point to let her know, I just couldnt believe myself.. I am never a person who knows how to tear, even when watching some of the saddest show from Korea and all.. So it is really something when I actually cried..

Lord, I felt very demoralised.. Here I am to help to bring her closer to you.. Yet, little did I realised that the more I do my best, the more I felt I am a total failure.. Lord, I had give in all my best to help her, to help her overcome all her spiritual attack, to provide monetary support to bring her to church via cab, to provide her with whatever I am able to so as to bring her to you..

Lord, while I know this is nothing compared to the love you had for Your children, I feel I had already given in my very best to provide for her.. Lord, is there any other way I can do, that I can be at Your service?

Lord.. Please guide me.. I really need your guidance thru this.. Lord.. Despite all these, please continue to protect her from all harms, cos I dun hope to see her come into any harm.. For Lord, I am not blaming her but blaming myself for being so useless..

Lord, I know I may be almost nothing as compared to You, but please use me so that I will be able to impart the correct skills and mindset so that she will learn and know more about you..

Thank you Lord for hearing all my rants and prayers

In Jesus' name I pray sincerely,
Amen..

Spiritual Atk..

Dear Lord,



please take care and protect your children.. sheild us from the evil ones..



Lord.. as we were praying for Cyn, pls protect Cyn from the evil ones, that no harm shall come to her nor her family members.. Lord, may You protect the people who are praying for her as will as their family members, so that the demons will not be able to lay their hands on any one of us.. For God we know that You will protect us with Your almightly prower and grace..



Lord, Thank you so much..



In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

Heavy Spiritual warfare on a friend

Dear Lord,

Recently, one of my friend is under very heavy spiritual attack from the devil. Lord, thru' your grace and mercy, we had managed to bring her to you and stopped the attacks from the devil for a couple of days.

However, despite her coming to you, the attack seems to return again. Lord, may you bless her and protect her from all evils and sins.. Lord, may you spread your wings over her, that she will be able to go to the church you have designated for her.. Hopefully with the number of people praying with and for her, she will be spared from the attacks from the evil ones..

Lord, may I pray to you that you will protect the people who are attending to her. That while we help her move towards you and away from the evil ones, we will not come under attack as well.. Lord, grant us the wisdom to defend for ourselves and grant us the strength to stand strong against attacks and temptations..

Lord, protect us and lead us away from sins and temptations.. Help us to go and make disciples and baptise them under your name, that they will follow and obey whatever you had taught us thru' Jesus Christ your Son..

All this I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Spiritual Health on the Dip..

Dear Lord,


Somehow I feel that my current spiritual health is weakening.. That it is on the decline.. Perhaps a decline that I had not expected to be so bad from the start.. Lord.. Please put a stop to it..


Suddenly due to all the busy schedules I dun even have the time to continue my bible interpretation, let alone starting that group.. Lord, can you help me to get over this spiritual warfare?


And Lord, is it really true that when 2 unequally yoked individuals come together, it will spells not only trouble, but that it would be breaking the rules as well?


Haiz.. Lord.. I really dunno what I sld do.. Please show me the way..

All this I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

A point to prove?

Dear Lord,

I find it quite confusing recently.. Ever since that fateful event that happened last year 15 of March, I started becoming extremely confused..

Who is the real me? What I am trying to prove?

These seems the question Lilly had been trying to ask me.. Honestly, I dun really know anymore.. All I know is, once you have wore that facade, you have to wear it all the way.. There is no stopping, no turning back.. Which is also the very fact why I am helping ppl not to wear that facade.. Being yourself is still the best..

Am I losing my own identity? What is my identity?
Lord, who am I in your sight?

Have been getting more and more confused as the days passed.. Or am I juz confusing myself when the situation could be very easy to start with?
Lord, what is your plan for me?

Am I really interested? Or is it juz lonliness that created that emptiness thus causing an interest?
Lord, what should I do?


Happy-go-lucky seems to be juz a facade at times.
Sky high self esteem seems nothing more than just a hoax..

Lord, I am confused..

Lord, if you hear me, do clear up my doubts.. I think I am carrying too much baggages from the past into the future? Can You help me to clear up this baggages? Can I see only Your footprints on the sand? Can You carry me accross?

Lord, please bring me thru' this period.. Thanks..

All these I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

What is my role in as a Christian?

Dear Lord,

Today, I had finally quited BSF.. I am stepping down from all responsibilities for the time being.

I am tired.. Juz too tired to carry on the things.. I feel, perhaps, by taking a short break, I will be able to come back as a better and stronger Christian..

Not only that, I had told Sharon that I will be stepping down from Sound System as well as all Ushering duties.. I will stop serving in church for the time being, until I feel it is time to get back..

But dun worry, Lord.. I will still give in my all to the Youths.. I love them.. They are one of the main reasons for my staying on in the church.. They are my main driving force, driving energy to keep my going..

Lord, do enlighten me on what role can I play in Youth also.. I am willing to help in all areas, but I cant think of a particular thing that I can focus on.. Please tell me what sld I do, what role sld I play..

Thanks Lord for listening to your humble servant prayers..

In Jesus most precious name,
Amen..

Spiritual Warfare.. And it is coming strong..

Dear God..


I had met with so much spiritual warfares for the last few weeks, to the extend that I dun even have the mood to type out any blogs or so..

All the things that I am going thru' are weighing so heavily on me that I am finding it hard to even breath.. I feel as thou I am suffocating.. From IAG Junior 2 to Church Retreat, to the illness that I had juz recovered from.. It felt so terrible..

Lord, please guide me thru this tough period.. Let your will be done.. Show me the path that I should take, show me the actions that i should follow.. I am now in a dilemma..

All this I ask in Jesus Name,
Amen

Dear God,

Can You explain to me why is it that You are such a weird God at times?

Somehow you had always like to poke fun at my feelings.. Why do you have to show me such a nice lady yet not letting me have her? She is such a sweet young lady.. Whenever I was with her, I could find a sense of security.. The hugs she gave at times really encourages me to move forward and give in my very best..

A nice outspoken young lady, and a very caring figure, at least to me.. Perhaps I was new, as such she paid a lot more attention.. But the care she gave was something that words could not describe.. When I had some sawdust flew into my eyes, she immediately attended to me by helping me to blow in the eyes.. I am really touched..

Haiz..

God.. Why does such things always happen to me? Yes I know that You will always have a plan, and that we would not know the plan since we were still part of the plan.. And that we will only know and understand when the whole event is over..

What is the plan you want for me, Lord? Does this trials really bring me up to be a stronger person or a weaker one? Lord, please help me thru'.

In Jesus most precious name I pray,
Amen

Back...

Dear Lord,

I am back to rant at this blog again.. Had stopped blogging for the past coming to 2 weeks..

Had finally began doing the breaking down of the bible and interpreting it.. Juz broke down 1Corinthians last wednesday.. Not too bad, since I am a first timer..

Hmmm.. What else can I talk about leh.. I also dunno.. Perhaps not in a mood to type it out bah.. Night time is bad.. It tends to bring out the emotional part of a person..

I will type on this blog again.. Perhaps in the afternoon or evening time..

Sorry Lord..

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

Calling?

Dear Lord,

I have been quite confused this few days.. So confused that I dun even know what is my calling anymore..

Lord, how do I know what is Your calling for me?

I always thought that my calling is to help others, to bring others closer to you.. Yet, why is it that the cases I had on hand seems to only serve to demoralise me, telling me that perhaps this is not my calling?

I am in a terrible dilemma now.. I dun even know what I should do, what I can do, what I should have done.. Here I am trying to follow up on the case, yet I seem to be losing grip on it.. I am terribly demoralized, Lord..

What is Your calling for me? What route should I take to glorify Your name?

I really dunno.. I am confused..

Do enlighten me, Oh Lord.. Please..


All these I asked in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

10 days of Missing in Action

Dear Lord,

It's been some time since I wrote my last entry here.. Had been very busy for the past 10 days.. From having my exams to having my NLP Master Practitioner Course.. Add a couple of days of sickness to that and it sort of sum up the past 10 days of my life..

By the way, Lord.. I skipped BSF lecture again.. Partly to send Grace to AKLTG cos she dunno the route, partly cos I couldnt find the motivation to stay, especially since I cant stand their sermon.. When there is too much "I think", "I feel", "I thought", I will start to get turn off by it.. As my Sergeant used to tell me back when I was still serving the nation, "You Think I Thought Who Confirm?" Too much opinions invovled, too little worthwhile information..

After sending Grace to AKLTG, I went to Bugis Junction via bus 80.. Started to talk a scroll around the shopping centre.. Call it an "Emo" walk if you must.. Especially since it brought back so much memories..

Memories are just like the black box you find on a plane, only after it crushes will you know what actually happened; Only until it ended did I realised I had really loved you before..

Went passed the hawker centre and Jack's Place.. It brought back tonnes of memories.. Suddenly it made me wonder, "Have I really gotten over her?"..

I dunno.. I really dunno suddenly.. I know I only treat her as a friend now.. Yet memories of this sort keeps flooding my mind from time to time.. Haiz.. I wonder what is wrong with me..

Lord, please show me the way out of this..

In Jesus Name I pray sincerely,
Amen..

Distracted..

Dear Lord,

Today I was attending my Module 2 of my Master Pract in NLP, I realised I had great trouble focusing.. Feeling very distracted.. Perhaps it is due to the sickness.. Feeling quite alright now, but still some coughing and headaches..

Part of the reason why I am distracted could be because of this friend of mine.. I know that she is back sliding, yet dunno what to do to help.. The only way I could see her moving back on track is via Trials.. But Lord, she is still so young.. I had been thru' the trials that You have set upon for me, and I know how tough it was.. Lord, is there any easy way out for her?

Lord, I know if it is Your Will, she will come back to You.. I am just hoping that she wont backslide so much that she will regret it for the rest of her life.. Lord, You should know what I mean by that.. Haiz..

Perhaps Don was correct right from the start.. That I am someone who tend to get too associated with other people's problem that I tend to neglect myself.. It is perhaps both my strength and my weakness.. I can feel for the person and pace with the person, which would make the person feel at ease when sharing with me.. Yet I would bring this feeling home with me.. Perhaps I need to come out with a method of Parts DIS-Integration..

Lord, before ending this entry.. May I pray for the projects that I have in hand to be a success.. And I also pray that with Your Almight power and mercy, that You will grant Grace with the ability to handle all her responsibilities in work, that she will be able to manage her time well and find peace in You.. Lord, I also pray to you that I will be more able to focus on my lessons for the next few days..

Thank You Lord once again..

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen

Sicky~

Dear Lord,

I am sick.. ><

Woke up with terrible running nose and sore throat yesterday.. And I was supposed to rush finish the final project of my of Degree course.. The feeling was extremely terrible.. That is what spiritual warfare can do to you.. Juz when you most needed your health, Satan take that away from you.. But luckily with Your grace, I am able to overcome my illness and managed to complete the project by 10.30pm.. Praise be with You.. Glory to Your Name..

So after that, took a cab down to town to throw my project into the office.. But as I tried using the short cut to reach the office, I realised that the door was locked.. I had to walk all the way back out again.. ><

Anyway, managed to survive the entire trip and went back home alive after that, despite having some giddy spells along the way..

As for today, nothing much happened.. Slept thru' the entire day.. That is how sick I am.. But still too stubborn to take any medication except for a couple of Vitamin C.. I hate medication.. Lilly was saying that I sounded like a big kid.. So she had to treat me like a kid so that I will obey her command.. =___=

Okay.. Think I should stop here for now, still have got to finish reading my Reading The Bible for all It's Worth.. Tomorrow meeting Pastor Mike to discuss on the book.. Please grant me my health by tomorrow, Lord..

All these I ask in Jesus Name,
Amen

Guest at ToastMaster

Dear Lord,

Just came back from Punggol ToastMaster Club.. But before I dive into that topic, let me talk about this afternoon's meeting with Lance..

We were supposed to meet up with this guy by the name of Winston to discuss about our internet marketing project.. Somehow that guy wasnt at home, thus Lance and I went to Thompson Plaza for a drink before discussing on our own..

After 2 hours of brain storming, finally, something strikes the both of us.. Somehow we realised that our previous planning may not work after all due to some errors in planning.. Lord, I know that it was You who gave us the wisdom to actually give up on the first initial plan, as you would have seen what lies beyond.. Thank You once again Lord..

Around evening time, went with Grace to have dinner before going to Punggol Community Club for ToastMaster..

It has been such a long time since I last stepped into Punggol CC.. It brings back tonnes and tonnes of memories.. Still remember those days where I took up so many courses there, ranging from abacus to chinese class, from acting classes to cooking class.. I used to make so many friends there when I was much younger.. It was also because of Punggol CC that had helped my family to go thru' one of the toughest financial crisis.. It was also this place where I first did my Community Involvement Project with XianHuan way back in the past when we were still in Lower Secondary, we were helping in the Mid-Autumn Festival then..

Memories after memories.. Smile and sadness flooded my mind.. Smile as most of the memories are so wonderful, sad as those wonderful days there were over.. All of us had each moved on with our lives..

Anyway, went back in to the ToastMaster room.. Was being volunteered to do a Table Topic, where participants were given 2 minutes to do an impromtu speech on the topic given.. The topic given today was about Easter..

Somehow most of them aint Christian and they did not know much about Good Friday and Easter Sunday.. Somewhere inside me, I knew I had to enlighten them on the significance of it.. I know Lord, it was You who inspired me, who gave me the courage and the ability to stand up in front of the whole group to teach them about You, about the significance of Your death, of Your Resurrection and the fact that we are saved thru' Your sacrifice on the Cross..

While my speech may not be all powerful, I am pretty sure it would have implant the knowledge in them.. Now all I can do is to pray for them, for them to accept You one day.. The seed has been planted, now, it depends on which seed will actually sprout and grow in You..

Nothing much of note, except that Grace got the Best Table Topic and Best Evaluator award for the night.. Her speech was powerful.. ><

Anyway, Lord, do continue to send the Holy Spirit unto me to do more of Your work, to spread Your Word and Your Love to everyone..

All these I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Day after Baptism

Dear Lord,

Met up with Mike today.. As always, he always gives me headache and confusion.. lolx.. But somehow I love the way he impart his knowledge to me.. He will never give nor accept any model answer, instead, he rather let you think about it and if you are stuck or moving towards the wrong direction, then only will he intervene.. As we always have this saying, "After Confusion Comes Enlightenment".. The phrase sounds cool isn't it? Please pay royalties if you want to use that phrase.. Haha..

Thou' it started out to be very hard on myself, especially since I am too used to spoon feeding, I feel myself growing at the tremendous pace thru'out this one year with him.. Had it not been for him and David Chan, I dun even know where would I be now.. Most likely I would have been a back-slided Christian, much less getting baptised in Your Name..

I am most gladful to Mike for taking me under his wings, to impart me with his knowledge and stopping me from sliding backwards.. Althou' he will always push back the compliments to You, my Lord.. What a nice and humble pastor I have, huh?

Anyway, after that went to AKLTG, was intending to join the Booaster session on Options, but since I have BSF, had to go over lo.. While going, I dragged Grace along with me, since there was an introductory class today.. Lolx..

Nothing much happened in BSF, since as always, my brain is half turn-off by the high amount of opinions rather than what is written in the bible.. I enjoy the group thou', cos there are some interesting characters in the group.. Well, other than that, the lectures kind of turn the other half of my brain off.. Cos they are quite boring, as what they doesnt cater to what I want and hope to learn.. There is not much interpretation to the bible.. Just dry text.. Of course, this is only my opinion, dun take it too hard if you are a hardcore fan of BSF..

Then again, I am gradful to the lecturers as well, especially since that is one of the only time I have the motivation to actually read my book on How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth.. I know it's kind of bad, but I think it would be more beneficial for me in the long run, isnt it, Lord?

Anyway, today I didnt attend the lecture.. Went off before that with Grace, since she stay around my house area.. I am the one who brought her to BSF, so I should be the one responsible to bring her back isnt it? What a gentleman.. Haha..

Upon reaching her house there, we had some food, dinner for me supper for her, at about 9.00pm.. The Cha Kwek Tiao, a Singapore delicacy, was nice with juicy clams.. Thou' not the best I have eaten, but still, it should be among the top.. If only they add more black sauce..... Haha..

After the food, we went home respectively..


Now, back to prayers item..

Firstly, I would like to pray for Grace (not the one who ate with me).. After she left CCBC, I had almost no contact with her.. Lord, I pray to You that You would not abandon her.. Trials are part and parcel of being a Christian, but she is still so young.. Please Lord, bring her back to You..

Lord, I would also like to pray for SiXiu, althou' I dunno how is her back, but I sincerely pray to You to cure her.. She had been a faithful follower.. Please Lord, with you almightly power, give her a healing touch..

And Lord, I would like to pray for Mike's hometown church.. Please Lord, do not let it fold down, for it would bring tremendous hurt to Mike, even if he doesnt show it on the outside.. To see your beloved church, your home church fall apart is never an easy thing to shallow.. Lord, please dun let the church close down..

Last but not least, Lord.. Please give our church leaders the foresight and wisdom to help the church to attain longevity.. Our membership are getting smaller and smaller, and if nothing is being done, it would only take one more generation before it cease to operate.. Juz like what Mike is experiencing in his hometown church, I am not willing to see the church I call my home to fall.. Lord, if it is your will, please help the church increase in numbers.. And let Mike continue to help to bring our church to do Your Glory..

Thy Will Be Done, Oh Lord..

All this I ask in Jesus Name,
Amen

Baptised in the Name of the LORD~

Dear Lord,

Today is the day, that I am baptised in Your name.. Thank You for being with me all these while thru'out my ups and downs in life; and when I am too tired to walk, You carried me thru..

This morning, as I reached church at 8am in the morning, Pastor Gary was briefing Isaac and myself of the rough procedures for the baptism that will be taking place later in the morning.. I was sitting with David this morning, telling him how nervous yet excited about what is going to happen in less than 2 hours time, ie, my immersion..

As Satan has it his way, spiritual warfare is always present even before my Baptism.. Marcus lost his way and went all the way to United Square, while the LKBC people seems too late to be able to witness the Holy Event..

All these became unfounded as God, my dear Lord and Saviour, decided to stop it once and for all.. Who else could explain how Marcus managed to come in 10 mins before the Baptism? Who else could explain how LKBC friends came RIGHT ON THE SPOT, just as Isaac and I were going to the back to change our clothes for the Baptism?

Lord, You are indeed the most gracious, most loving God.. Before the event, Isaac and I were so afraid that the water might be too cold for comfort as it was left overnight.. However, as we touched the water, all fears were gone.. The water was in the right temperature, cooling yet not cold..

As I entered the pool once my name was being called by Pastor Gary, I slowly moved in to the pool.. All the fears of stage fright and all just disappeared at the instance.. I did as I was told by Pastor Gary in the morning.. ie. Bend my Knees, Hold on to his hand while being pushed down into the water..

The bad thing.. Water got into my nose as I was being baptised.. Haha.. But it wasnt too bad.. The congregation, especially the LKBC youths, screamed in estasy as I came out of the water, showing their full fetch support for my decision, as well as Isaac's..

Walking up the stairs from the other side, I witness Isaac's baptism right before my eyes as well.. The excitment is unexplainable via words.. It is beyond what I can descibe.. Especially since Isaac had always been one of my best pals in church ever since I came to CCBC.. A thru and thru good buddy of mine.. The fact that we were baptised together shows it all perhaps..

After his Baptism, I went down into the water again to join them for a closing prayer.. Everyone stood up to pray with us.. After the prayer, Isaac took another dip into the water as he was feeling cold..

We changed quickly at the back stage.. It was COLD! I was shivering all thru'out..

As we finish packing all the equipments, we started to proceed down to the refreshment area.. It was then that I realised some LKBC people couldnt make it to witness unfortunately (Stupid Spiritual Warfare from Satan again), but they will be joining us for the celebration outing later.. Praise the Lord!

The following picture is the gifts I recieved during the service this morning.. =)

Lots of gifts.. Haha..

I was busy entertaining Marcus and his Girlfriend, while Isabel keep teasing me.. I am bullied.. :(

Haha.. Okay lah.. Once in a while should give her a chance to bully me, if not Isaac and I would find life very boring, cos only one way bully.. Haha..

Anyway, we took a nice Group photo with the LKBC youths.. Fun and lovely..

Went to Cine after that.. Ate Long John Silver together while recieve gifts from the Fantastic Four, ie. Jermaine, Janice, Joylnn and Esther.. Joylnn and Janice passed Isaac the Chip while Esther and Jermaine gave me Dale.. Together we are... CHIP AND DALE! Wahaha..

Tada! The Dale! Haha.. Cute isn't it?! Lolx.. I always wanted it.. Yet never bought it for myself.. Just ask Don, she will know how much I long to have such cute toys.. Haha.. God, you are really wonderful.. To think that you still remember what I wanted even thou it was quite some years ago..

Anyway, after the lunch, we went to watch Confession of A Shopaholic.. Funny show, coupled with some touching scenes that even brought some of us to tears..

After the show, Mike, Isaac, Isabel, Jermaine, Esther and I went shopping at Far East while James went to cut his hair.. Man.. You should see how Esther shops, she truly reminded us about the Shopaholic, thou she didnt buy any.. Haha..

We were part shopping part waiting for James to finish cutting his hair.. After James finally finish cutting his hair, we were all ready to go.. We took a train back to Bishan and from there took Bus 53 back to Serangoon, while Esther and her brother alight slightly earlier..

Fun day.. Thank You Lord for the blessings You have showered upon us, for You are the greatest.. I Love You Lord.. =)

In Jesus most precious name,

Amen

The Shopping

Dear Lord,

I still do not understand, why is it that I just couldnt find the right words, the right topics to say at the right time.. Why is it that when I most needed my ability to talk, it would just leave me somehow..

My ability to strike topics had always been one of my strongest points, yet when I needed it, I just couldnt strike any topics.. No topics came to mind..

Nervousness? Shyness? Or just pure useless?

What is there to fear about when regrets should be the most fearsome thing on earth? Yet the fear of taking the first step is bringing me closer to regrets than to....... Haiz..

Lord, if it is your will, empower me with the things that I should already have.. You know I will love you no matter what happen in the past, what happen now, and what is going to happen in the future..

Lord, I just need that courage.. That courage that will allow me the break thru'..

I feel useless, yet I know I am not..
I feel hopeless, yet I know I am not..

So why is these negative feelings surrounding me?

Lord, please help me..

I entrust my life unto Your hands..

In Jesus most precious name I pray,
Amen

THANKYOU LORD~!

Dear Lord,

You are just so wonderful to me.. Just when I was at my most down period, you answered my prayers.. =)

Lord, you are nothing short of miracles.. Performing miracles in every part of my life..

Just as I thought no one would be coming for my Baptism, you got Marcus to come to witness it with his Girlfriend.. His gf was interested to see how is baptism like..

Lord, hopefully you will be able to bring her to your side, especially since Marcus is a faithful servant of yours too..

Thankyou once again dear Lord.. I Love You..

All this I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Tomorrow is My Baptism~

Dear Lord,

Tomorrow is my Baptism day.. I had invited so many friends, yet one by one couldnt make it to witness my baptism tml cos of their own commitments.. Haiz..

Is this yet another strong spiritual warfare given by Satan?

I am feeling down now.. Demoralised in a way.. Empty promises empty expectations.. Wonder if there will be even a single soul turning up for my Baptism.. Am I too pessimistic? Perhaps..

Lord.. How?

When things are against me, that's when my faith for You will be at its weakest, and that's when Satan can attack it the most.. Haiz..

Lord, no matter what happen tomorrow, I will still love You..

I pray all these in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Once again I look upon the Cross where you died

Dear Lord,

It's Black Saturday today.. Went to Church today to help Ivan Ng in his P.A. system.. Didnt joined them for worship leading.. Cos I am not ready, in a way.. Perhaps I am just too nervous that I may make any mistakes tomorrow during the worship.. I just dun want to make any mistakes, especially when there are very important people sitting at the congregation.. Lord, You know what I mean..

It's not that I lack faith in You to lead me thru tomorrow.. It's just that I lack faith in myself to do a perfect one to glorify Your name.. I am sorry..

Oh Lord, tomorrow LK's people will be coming as well, hopefully they will be in time to witness Isaac's and mind Baptism.. I really wish they can.. You know what I mean..

Lord.. I am seriously excited, yet nervous about tml.. Excited as I had finally made a decision to obey Your word by getting myself baptised in Your name.. Nervous because there will be so many people out there watching me.. Is it because of the number of people? Or is it because of.....?

Lord, I pray to You that everything will be fine tomorrow.. That I will finally be able to sucessfully get myself baptised.. I dont want another repeat of last year.. I know it was You who stopped me for getting baptised last year as I wasnt ready.. This year is totally different.. I am a changed person.. The Ivan of the past had long gone.. A "reborn" Ivan has arrived.. Tml shall be the day.. The day I go thru the most important ceremony in my Christian life, in my walk with You..

Lord, please guide me thru this life.. Be my guide, my shepherd.. For I am once lost, but now found.. Thanks to you oh Lord.. Thankyou..

All this I pray in Jesus name,
Amen

Good Friday 2009

Dear Lord,

Today is good friday.. Almost 2000 years ago, You died on the cross for us.. I am most grateful for that, cos it was because of Your dying, Your blood, that cleanse our sins so that we can be with You after the death of our physical body..

Oh Lord, if it is Your will, do bring more unsaved into Your hands.. I sensed grave danger about 2012, the year where the Mayan Calender ended.. Even the Newpaper commented that there will be a major solar energy surge during that year, where the world may be thrown into darkness.. Lord, please save Your people.. Although there are many believers, there are still many unsaved souls out there.. With You almighty hand, do bring them back to Your arms..

Let not the day of judgement be so near, let there be more saved souls, especially my parents and relatives, who had been very against my religion, my relationship with you.. Lord, please open up their hearts to allow You to touch them, to enter into their lives as well, just like the way you enter into my life some 3 plus years ago..

Lord, thanks for listening to your humble servant's prayer..

I pray all this in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Day before Good Friday

Dear God,

Yeah, just reached home from Church.. =)
Didnt managed to attend the night service as I went to the office instead.. Hehe..
But at the office, saw Isaac and Shannen.. They were entertaining some Thai students who came to Singapore for an Exchange.. Sharon's friend's niece where there also.. Haha..

The name of that Niece was Su.. Interesting girl.. But the first question she asked me was what was my age.. What a way to actually start a conversation.. =___=

Anyway we played Genga, together with this girl called Armanda.. Quite fun..

Unfortunately, while I was talking to Su, I realised that she doesnt seem to be a Christian.. ><
Lord, with your grace, do open up her heart..

Lord, if it is your will, let me continue this conversation with her on Sunday, which is my Baptism day also.. May your grace falls upon her..

All this I asked in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

My Spiritual Walk With Christ

Dear Lord,

I am going to obey your command by getting myself baptised this Easter Sunday, 12/04/2009..

Thankyou Lord for not letting me go when I was at my lowest point in life, when I was about to leave you..

Lord, I know it is because of you that I have come thus far..

May the future bring me closer and closer to you, until the day we meet again in Heaven..

Thankyou Lord,

All this I pray in Jesus name,
Amen

First Entry

This entry shall mark the first of the many to come..

This blog is build to track my spiritual growth as well as some of the happenings in my daily life..

Please feel free to comment..