Sick and Scared..

Dear Lord,

I just took another day of off from work.. Still not in the best of condition to work, be it physically or mentally.. My throat is still hurting and my body is still relatively weak from the fever that I have had a couple of days back..

Then again, that only explains the physically part of my condition.. I am currently overwhelmed with thinking of my long term future in the company..

As I saw the doctor yesterday, I brought up the issue about the numbness I felt on my leg toe.. Initially I was so scared that it could be diabetes, but as it found out, there is nothing to do with diabetes, especially since I dun have the illness.. Instead, I got another terrible blow from the doctor..

He told me that the numbness came from the fact that I have been standing too long in a shoe that is totally not comfortable enough for my legs.. As such, the nerves around the toes area had been suffocated and were being badly damaged, since I didnt not "listen to my body" when the numbness was first felt.. While there is a chance of recovery, it will take lots of months for the nerves to return to it's orginal state.. However, if the nerves are too badly damaged, I may have to live with this "50% feeling" leg..

Suddenly, I realised that being a workaholic doesnt seems to bring you anywhere in terms of health.. In order to climb up the career progression chart of the company fast, I choose to turn a deaf ear to my body's complain, in the end, I have to suffer the consequences of it..

To think that just before starting work I was still reading "Where is God when it Hurts" by Philip Yancey.. To think that I was still pitying people who didnt not listen to their body when they had a chance.. Little did I expect it to happen on myself..

Haiz.. Lord, I am scared..

While I know that this 50% feeling of my left leg will not affect any of my current physical being or will it provide any hinderance to any of my activities, I still dun like the fact that I am not a 100% fully fit and healthy person..

What is the message You are trying to bring across here, Lord? Is this a lesson You want me to learn? Or am I thinking too much?

Either way, I still want to praise You for letting me learn and understand Philip Yancey's book, not only at a head knowledge level, but to actually live it to understand at a personal level.. This way, I will be able to relate and connect with the people whom I will be counselling in the future..

Thankyou Lord.


Up next is my Prayer List, Dear Lord.

For XiaoYen,
Lord, she seems so busy these days. While she does enjoy what she is working now, do protect her and shield her from any harm. Give her a pink of health so that she will be able to go thru' the hectic schedule unscattered..

For myself,
Lord, may you grant me health so that my body will be able to recover fully.

Thankyou Lord.

All this I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen

Life @ Work/Church

Dear Lord,

Here I am again.. It been quite long since I last posted on this blog.. It has also been quite long since I really sit down and pray and chat with you.. My life has been extremely busy and too tired at times.. Work is really draining me.. For a type 6 to do a job meant for a type 3, I am extremely stressed up from time to time.. I still have yet to find the peace that I require in order to grow as a type 6..

Oh Lord, and I have just move back to LKBC again.. :D

Just went over to LKBC with XY on Sunday, which is yesterday. She prefers LKBC that ARPC. To me, it doesnt really makes much of a difference to me, since all along that is only 2 churches which I have in mind to stay for long term, ARPC and LKBC..

While I am still not too close with most of LKBC's people, at least I know most of the youths over there, if not all.. So in other words, I should be able to settle both XY and myself down there faster.

Lord, please help us to stay close to you while we continue to pursue Your words and wisdom.. The followings are some of my prayers for my dear friends and myself..



For LKBC,
Lord, I pray that you will be able to grant wisdom to Pastor Jimmy as he comes back from Sabatical leave next week, so that he will be able to impart his knowledge about you to the entire congregation without mistakes or misleadings..

For CCBC and CCBC youths,
Lord, while I may no longer be a regular in CCBC, I still do hope that the church will be able to stand strong and not fall apart. May you grant them the wisdom to know what is good for them and how to grow as a church, both in terms of numbers of people attending the service, as well as in terms of spiritual growth.

For Ps. Mike,
Lord, may you give him the strength and knowledge to impart to the people who are learning from him. Give him the discipline to learn more about You, to pray to You, and to transfer these knowledge to the people under his wings.

For PeiXia,
While she seem to have disappeared from my life, I still wish her well for everything that she partake.. Lord, may You send someone in Your name to help her to open her heart to accept you into her life.. May you show her that in this life that we are living, there is no other love greater than the love You have showered upon us.

For XiaoYen,
Lord, may you help her in everything she do. Do grant her health so that her current food intake may not harm her, but bless it to the use of her body. Lord, may you grant her the wisdom to grow in You and that she will find peace and joy wherever she goes. May you spread your wings of assurance and grace upon her that she will be able to settle down in a church and a cell gropu soon.

Last but not least,

For myself,
Lord, give me strength to be able to take the energy draining job. Grant me peace so that I will be able to do my job with peace in my mind and You in my heart, and so that I will no long stay stagnant and be able to move on in life. Grant me wisdom so that while I am doing with job, I will not forget to show others that You are Lord thru' my actions. Grant me discipline, so that I will always remember to pray to you, and to continue in my repairing of my relationship with You, Lord.



Thankyou for listening to my prayers, Dear Lord,

All these I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen