God Answered My Prayers, But I Wasn't Ready To Receive.

Dear Lord,

Is that really true? Or at least that was the answer I tot I received from You when I last visited the Botanic Gardens on yesterday.

Somehow I really feel that it seems that way..

It has been for quite sometime since the first time I prayed that prayer for a partner. If I am not wrong, ever since I had more or less gotten over Donna, I have been praying for a partner.

Girls came and went. Some good ones really came past my path, some bad ones too.. But none of them seems to be sent by You except for one. She was really someone whom I tot was Your answer to my prayers.

The reason why I felt that way was because the meeting with her was really under such a circumstance that without all the things that had happen before that, I will never have met her. This is one of the surest thing I would say.

Things took a turn interestingly after PX. Most of the people I am close to now would never have come into my path had it not been for the turn in the PX incident. And it was also that incident that I really grew up a lot.

After her, I think it was You who had sent that girl into my path, perhaps to help me, perhaps to bring me closer to You, perhaps just to answer the desperate cry from Your servant here.

Nevertheless, come to think about it, I wasnt ready for the prayer to be answered there and then. I was still having a hard time getting over PX. I still wasnt sure of my feelings then. I still wasnt sure of myself. With every time that I went out with her then, the past would just come and haunt me. With every step that I took, it was all thorns. It was painful then. Time interval between PX and the prayer being answer seems too short a time for healing to be complete, at least in human terms, in my terms.

Coming back to the present, after seeking so much guidance from everyone, ranging from Pastors to Counselors to You, my Lord, I guess I can finally move on from here. Pastor Annie said some very comforting words to me during the church retreat when I consulted her on my incident. Unlike everyone else who just told me to "let go" without offering other better solutions (as in if I can let go, I would have long done it isn't it?) Instead, what Pastor Annie said was that "it is fine, I just needed more time to get over emotional hurts. Not everyone is the same. Some take days, some takes months, and there are people like me who may take slightly longer. But what is true is that God will still look after us and help us."

That was really very comforting to me, cos I have never seen it in that way before. I had always been looking for "steps" to help myself in my situation, looking for a solution, but I have never seen it as just a normal path that I need to take. Moving On and Letting Go doesnt mean that I just say I surrender everything or I decide to do it and it just just happen. It takes time.. Or in my case, a very long time.

But while time is a variable in this, healing is definitely a constant, something that will definitely take place over time. With the Grace of You, my Lord, all healing will definitely take place, just as what Jesus did when He came to Earth. As long as faith is there, healing will follow.


My Lord, I guess I am ready this time round. I have spend lots of time thinking thru' lots of things recently, and I am pretty sure I will be able to handle it when You answer my prayer this time round. I really hope, Lord, that You will give me another chance.

Thankyou Lord,
In Jesus Most Precious Name I Pray,
Amen.