Dear Lord,

I realised something today, the following entry will be on what I have discovered today..



If you think prayers are as easy as just talking and chatting with God about your life, try praying for someone whom you want to curse even more.. Try praying for the well being of that person and that he or she may be blessed by God in any possible ways..

Hard isnt it?

Honestly, who in the right frame of mind will actually want to pray for someone whom you hate so much? I doubt even the holiest of holiest person will be able to do that without the slightest frown or the slightest feeling of being forced to..

I, for one, is no different from all the fallen people out there, who finds it extremely hard to do that.. Sometimes, I cant help but find that the Bible is such a difficult text to comply with.. But as it is written in Matthew from 5:43 to 5:48

Mat 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy'
Mat 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Mat 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Mat 5:46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collecters doing that?
Mat 5:47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Mat 5:48 be perfect, therefore, as you heavenly Father is perfect.

Haiz.. Honestly, I seriously want to just curse the guy whom so-to-speak have stolen her from me.. Yet somewhere deep inside me tells me that I should be praying for their relationship and pray that he will take good care fo her.. On top of that, I have to pray that if I am not the one who will bring her to Christ, let him be the one to harvest the seed which I had sowed.

Sometimes I cant help but wonder if God loves me so much, why would He give me some an "impossible" and "inhumane" task? I am the one being hurt here and yet I have to pray for the one who cause me this pain?

This spiritual path with God is really a tough one.. While I believe that I will grow to become a stronger person, a stronger Christian in the process, I can help but feel that the cross I am carrying with me now is so heavy and so painful..

Haiz..

Neverthelesss, God, if that is what you want from me, that will be what I will give to you.. While I still cant help but feel the pain and all, I will still do my best to do what is righteous in your eyes and the task that you have entrusted me with..

Lord.. Give me strength..


In Jesus most precious name I pray,
Amen